I've never been one to shy away from bugs. I really don't mind them for the most part. Granted I don't want them crawling in my ears while I sleep, but really, how often does that happen anyway?
When I was a kid and I found out one of my cousins was terrified of daddy long legs, I instantly threw my fear of them out the window. I quickly learned it was WAY more fun to chase her with a spider in my hands. Which I did.
(Carrie - I put this picture of just for you because I know how much you LOVE spiders)
Same goes for cicadas and one of the neighbor boys growing up. Granted, I was NEVER afraid of those things... they rock! But anytime I held one near Matthew, he would freak. I caught a lot of cicadas while the Whiteheads were our neighbors.
I was the kid that really enjoyed making a bug collection in 4th grade. It was so fun! Pinning all the little critters down, examining them up close. Scoping out all the intricacies of the beetles and spiders. That was one project I had a lot of fun with. As a general rule, I like bugs.
There is one lone exception to the rule... the cockroach.
I was going to put a picture of one right there, but I just couldn't do it.
You're welcome.
That is the single bug that will make me stand on a chair and scream like a girl for my knight in shining armor to rescue me. I won't even pick them up if they're already dead and crunchy. Nope, won't happen. In fact, I just got the chills even THINKING about them. I've had several "lovely" experiences with them over the years. We occasionally had them in our house growing up. I think this may be due in part to the pool out back. Any how...
One time as a kid, I opened the drawer of a chest close to our garage and one of those nasty flying water bug/roach things few INTO MY FACE. I just about had a conniption fit. No lie. It was terrifying.
Another time, I was pulling a blanket up over me in the living room and felt something crunchy. Since it wasn't unusual to have leaves in our house due to the dog tracking them in then sleeping on the blankets, I assumed that's what it was so I crunched it with my fingers. Imagine my horror when I looked down and saw little legs crushed to bits. Yeah, I totally crushed a dead roach... with my fingers. I can't even describe the freak-out that I had at that moment. It involved me screaming bloody-murder, scrubbing my hands until they were practically raw, and I even remember holding "the hand" with my other hand, laying on the floor screaming with chills over how disgusted I was. I think I even mentioned something about 'cut my hand off!! cut my hand off!!"
I wasn't kidding.
Yes, so I may have been a semi-drama queen. So what?
This post does have a point, and I'm getting there.
Last night we were watching The Colony on Discovery. Does anyone else watch that? SO good. Very interesting concept. Anyway, they're low on food and so on the episode we watched last night, they did the unthinkable.... They cooked cockroaches AND ATE THEM. I shuddered intensely. I couldn't even watch. Just ask Josh. I sat there with my eyes closed and my ears plugged (I couldn't bear to hear the crunching as they ate them). It made me want to throw up.
I totally just got chills again.
I have come to the conclusion that there is no way on God's green earth that I could or would ever eat a cockroach. No way!!! I would probably expend way more energy screaming and flailing my arms about after eating one than I would ever get from eating one. It's just not worth it to me. Even on the brink of starvation, I wouldn't do it.
I wouldn't eat one for a million dollars. I wouldn't eat one or 10 million dollars. I might nibble one if it meant getting Obama out of office though...
Maybe. OK, probably not even for that.
I can't imagine a single situation where I would eat one. I'd sooner lick dirt or eat glass than eat a roach.
I would rather die.