The post in which I scream like a little girl

Meet Charlotte.

She is a barn spider and she lives on our porch. This is her in October when she was still "little".

She is big. And hairy. And ugly.

Carrie and I let her crawl on our faces

She tried to eat me.

This is her tonight, November 21. We think she is "with child" at the moment. See how she is bigger? And hairyer hairier more hairy? And uglier? No, I'm not saying pregnant women are big, hairy and ugly. Only spider-women. Spider-women that live on my porch.

Dad is the only one brave enough to get close. Since I am typically not afraid of any bug (except roaches), I tried. I did. I couldn't do it. She is just too big. I even tried sticking a ruler up there, but the ruler slightly touched the web and she tried to attack. I screamed. Like a little girl. And ran inside. And threw the ruler down. And screamed some more.

Yes, this is our friend Charlotte. As long as she doesn't touch me, her web doesn't cross my path, and she and her soon to be baby Charlottes stay out of the house, she is welcome to stay as long as she likes.

Genius!

This is awesome. That's all there is to it.

Banjo Hero!

I don't understand the phenomenon that is Guitar Hero. Then again, I've never actually played Guitar Hero. It just hasn't interested me. I guess I'd rather sit around and play a real guitar. A real, marketable skill

That said... I think there is a veritable market for a variation of the game called....

BANJO HERO!

See, the difference is that playing a banjo really isn't a marketable skill so therefore, it doesn't matter if you play a real one or a plastic one. Besides, let's be honest, either one will get the dogs howling and any human within earshot calling the cops on you in a matter of minutes.

The object of the game, of course, would be to get better and better (Or do I mean worse and worse? We ARE talking about the banjo here) As you progressed through the levels, your character would lose more and more teeth and his appearance would grow increasingly more.... hillbilly.

Then, WHAM!! before you know it, you're sitting on a rickety old porch, toothless, barefoot, holes in your overalls, a piece of straw sticking out of your mouth, and your scraggly dog Jethro sitting at your feet, having mastered the game Banjo Hero.

There could even be accompaniment instruments you could buy to go along with it such as the Washboard, Washtub Bass, Jug, Spoons, Bones, and for the especially enthusiastic, the musical Saw (watch your fingers, kids!).

I definitely think there is a market for this game! It would be THE hot item at Best Buy the day after Thanksgiving (at least in Arkansas). I know I'd buy it. Or burn it. Um.. one of the two.

You're building a WHAT?!

I went out into the shop to see what Dad was building on Friday afternoon and found this...

It's a coffin.

Dad found out he has FOUR broken ribs, not one, so his doctor told him to go ahead and make a coffin.

Not really.

It IS a coffin, and he DOES have 4 broken ribs, and his doctor DID tell him to build it...

Thankfully, it's not going to be used any time soon for it's real intended purpose. I'm sure Doc wanted it for Halloween, but it will undoubtedly eventually end up in his cowboy town, Marrow Bone Springs. It was rather odd to come home and find Dad out back putting together a coffin though!