Yada yada yada

So the new tentative D-Day at work is Thursday. This is the date that "they" are scheduled to announce whether or not my boss has a job. Based on the outcome of that, I will hopefully know a little more about my job situation. Hopefully. You never know.

They are downsizing that level by almost half and each of those people has an admin...which in turn means that they are likely downsizing half of the admins. If my boss does get a job, I am not necessarily guaranteed my job. I mean, who is to say that Suzie Q, who has been with the company for 20 years and is fabulous, shouldn't get the job instead of lil ole me who has only been here 2 years. Quite frankly, I'd be ok with Suzie Q getting my job, as long as I get a decent severance package.

In light of all this, I had my mid-year review with my boss last week. I think she's trying to get these done super fast so that if she is gone, the new person has something to go off of. I was nervous about this review. Not because I have done a bad job or anything crazy, but because I am at a crossroads in my life where I have no idea what I want to do. My boss is a very pro-woman, career oriented woman and really likes to push her employees to "be all that they can be". There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with this, by the way. She's probably one of the best bosses I've ever had. She's great about moving up and work/life balance. The problem is that it's hard to go into a review with someone like this and try to explain that I don't know what I want to do and honestly, I'd like to start a family in the next year or two which will drastically change my work situation. We are planning on me staying home when the time comes (hey, Union readers, don't get too excited...there isn't an announcement to make yet and probably won't be for at least another year or two!!!) but that is looming in the background and I'd be lying if I said it didn't have a strong influence on my career plans.

I didn't want to lie to my boss and tell her I was so stoked about my job and totally wanted to stay and loved it, but I didn't want to be a total Debbie Downer and shoot myself in the foot. I was torn up about it for several days before hand. Because this is such a volatile time in my department, I felt it was necessary to say something though so she didn't waste tons of effort in fighting for my job (which she would.. remember, I said she was a great boss). I'm unhappy in my position for sure. I literally do nothing all day. And there really IS an end to the Internet. Now, don't get the wrong impression of me.. I'm not a slacker.. in fact, I LOVE to work. I love to be busy... there just really isn't anything for me to do here. There are 3 of us admins doing the work that 1 could easily do by them self...probably at a part-time rate!

The last 2 years have been a huge learning experience and I know that I'm not cut out for the IT arena. I am a creative mind, not a technical mind. Not only am I not a technical mind, I have no DESIRE to have a technical mind. I hate that stuff! That's why I married a technical guy.... so he can handle all that stuff :) My mom suggested I tell my boss I want to be challenged...well, that's true if I was in a different department, but I really think I'd rather pierce my nose with a nail gun than be challenged in IT. I absolutely do not enjoy anything to do with this area. It's miserable for me! So I'm stuck for now.

Anyway, I went into my review and told my boss all of this, only not in so many words. I think it went well. She told me that she'd be happy to do anything for me to help me get to where I want to be...whether within the company or outside. She told me about a neat program the company does where you work and get your masters, but it's a tough, time-consuming 2 year commitment and that brings me back to the whole family thing. It may be hindering my career, whatever that may be, but I don't want to commit 2 years to something just to finish and not use it. We'll see though. I have no idea what the future holds. I'm just hanging on until I know a little bit more about the situation here. I've put out feelers though, so we'll see what comes.

Y'all probably think I'm crazy for wanting to leave... I mean, I get paid to do virtually nothing, have GREAT vacation, and an awesome boss. You're right. I probably have someone's dream job. It's just not my dream job.

So yeah, that's my long, drawn out post for the day. I tend to be a bit of an over-sharer and a tad long winded, so congratulations to anyone who actually made it through this whole, long thing! That's an accomplishment!