It ain't always the easy way

I've tried to stay away from blogging about my work because well, you never know who is going to read these things, but I feel as though it's time to solicit some outside prayer! And I know what a powerful thing prayer is. I mean, when you ask the Almighty God for something, he NEVER fails to answer. Even if it's not the answer I (we) may want, it's still an answer.

As many of you know, I am incredibly unhappy in my current work situation. I actually have quite the gravy job and I'm sure there are tons of people out there who would kill to have my position.. I mean, I get paid to blog (um, let's keep that on the DL, ok??), I get great vacation, awesome benefits, a really flexible schedule, and my boss is easy to work for, but I'm just not happy here. I need to feel like I am accomplishing something (other than racking up a super great win percentage on Spider Solitaire that is) and I just don't get that here. I probably sound crazy to a lot of people, but it is what it is.

I've been really blessed with my jobs so far. First, I wanted to work at AA and voila! I did. I got hired on as a temp, and almost immediately was hired on permanently into an HR position. I really enjoyed what I did there (sans the stupid travel), but when we moved to Saginaw, I got the job I have now because of location and let's face it, airlines just don't pay very well right now!! I was sad to leave, but at the same time, I knew it was time to go and when my department was being outsourced, it was just perfect time to start looking. It was kind of a strange situation with all the layoffs too so it was good to get away. With much prayer, God provided just the right career move for me at the perfect time.

Now, I'm in another weird situation. Without going into too many details, there are some big changes a comin' in my work group and I'm honestly not sure what's going on. I don't know if my job will stay the same, if my job will be moved to a new group, or if I will even still HAVE a job. We should know in another couple weeks... And, to top it all off, I'm not sure what I want to happen deep down. Part of me almost hopes I don't have a job so that I have an "excuse" to leave here. Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful for my time here, but it's hard for me to really look for another job because of all I'd be giving up here. Maybe I need a kick in the pants to get moving?

I've been doing a lot of praying about it and I still just don't know what to do. I've always relied on "well, if God wants me here then I'll still have a job and if not, then I'll be out of a job" which could, in fact, be true as it was at AA. That kind of faith and trust has always been easy for me because I don't really have to make a decision. That just deals with the "worry factor", but I've been thinking that maybe it's not always that easy. Lately, I've been wondering if God wants me to take that leap of faith and leave here and just trust him. Taking the leap is the hard part. Staying in my comfy, cozy gravy job (or situation) and just waiting on the answer is easy.

So, do I stay here and wait on the answer, that I know he will provide because He is faithful, even when I am not? Or does He want me to be faithful and trust him by taking that leap out of my comfort zone and actively pursue other opportunies? The two are one in the same, yet are totally different. It's difficult for me to trust my feelings on this because I don't know if I'm having these thoughts only because I am so anxious to do something I enjoy and want to get away from here. I hope this post makes sense to those reading. I've got about a million and a half thoughts rolling around in this empty head of mine so putting them out is proving to be quite a task!

So, I'm hoping to solicit some prayer here! I really need some wisdom to know what to do. I know this may seem like quite the petty prayer request compared to some of the stuff others out there are dealing with, but I know that nothing is petty to our Savior, so I'm asking anyway.

Anyway, back to those TPS reports....